Resignation

Life is hard work, with challenges constantly thrown in our path.  I am now on day 2 of 5 of having the children on my own while Mr R works, then attends a conference.  Now this in itself is not a lot I realise, in fact I know an inspirational woman who has twin babies a few weeks younger than Baby R, and regularly looks after them on her own for weeks on end while her partner works away.  But throw teething and toilet traning into the mix, when I am not used to prolonged periods of having them on my own, and I am not looking forward to it.  Of course, in times gone by (and I am sure to come) my parents would have jumped at the chance to get some hands on time helping out with their grandchildren, but sadly at the moment my Mam's treatment has to be the priority.

So, I can kick, scream and shout about it, and continue my angry streak.  I can celebrate the fact Toddler R is really getting the potty thing, and that we should be ok ...

But in reality I am pretty resigned.  When the anger subsides, I find myself in a very numb place a lot of the time, and 'plodding on' through whatever the day brings seems to be the way I find to move forward.  Which isn't ideal when I have so much to enjoy each day.  Like the little grin Baby R gives me every time she sees me.  Like the chuffed little look on Toddler R's face when he wees on the potty and realises he has been a sucess in what I asked him to do.  Like the pride my parents shine with every time I tell them of their grandchildren's achievements that day.

Notice the trend ... its all about the children.  Now that is great, but maybe to beat this numbness, I need to start living life for me again ... suggestions on a postcard please!!